As Above, So Below
Astrology as a guide back to Self
AS WITHIN, SO WITHOUT
I have an intimate relationship with the cosmos. When I’m really in it and don’t have access to words to describe or share my experience, astrology gives me the language. Astrology has been a constant companion helping me understand who I am beneath the adaptive strategies, inherited stories, and masks I’ve always worn. It offers me a bird’s eye view to explore the facets within me, and a paintbrush to co-create alongside my cosmic blueprint.
Rather than try and talk about intangible intensities moving through my body which have no narrative, I can zoom out and see the ways plutonian energy is dancing with my inner world. My ability to sense and feel the energies within myself and how they relate to the positions of the planets in the sky is a gift I am grateful for. As thrilling as falling into a rabbit hole of ‘what’s wrong with me’ is, I can instead look up my chart and say “Hey Ker, that’s a lot of deep, dark water you’re navigating, you’re in the underworld, of course you can’t find the words, go easy with yourself.’
NEW PERSPECTIVES
I used to have a negative impression of Scorpio. Let’s be honest, it gets a pretty bad rep. Getting to know the planets more intimately helped me find the meaning that was true for me. I’ve developed a relationship with the energy of Scorpio that gives me back my personal power - which is exactly what Scorpio wants.
Scorpio holds the signature of the phoenix. It is the sign ruled by Pluto, the Ruler of the Underworld, and like all water signs, it wants us to feel, but it wants us to feel in the places we’ve been told to shove down deep. The places of shame, guilt, anger, grief, fear, resentment, and self-sabotage. It wants us to look in that dark cave and hold what we find, not because it’s sadistic, but because it wants to show us where we’ve repressed parts of ourself that hold power.
Scorpio wants us to reclaim our power, but in order to do so, we have to confront the darkness, tend to it, and accept it as part of us. This is how Scorpio leads us through transformation and growth, by summoning us to our own depths where we can meet the shadow, that which is kept in secret, running an unconscious script playing out in our relationships - with ourselves and others. When we name the thing, we take away it’s ability to hold power over us. The strategies we’ve adapted to navigate what we’ve exiled into the dark begin to decay, fertilizing the fields for what wants to be born in its place.*
I also used to have a very different relationship with Capricorn (ruled by Saturn, also a rough reputation), who shows up a lot in my chart. My western, co-opted view of Capricorn was associated with toxic capitalism, getting ahead in business, and ultimately the patriarchy. Did you know Capricorn is a feminine sign? It is not the patriarchy, it is, in fact, The Matriarch. It’s the blueprint for life held in the bones, the oak tree within the acorn. It’s the archetype of The Matriarch, The Elder, The Counselor, The Wise One.
My relationship with the trees, the elves, the moss, and the dirt - after all, Capricorn is an earth sign - were a reflection of the energetic signature of this healed and whole understanding of Capricorn. Did you know Capricorns ancient representative is the Sea Goat, not the Mountain Goat? The Sea represents a spiritual depth, and the Goat represents how that spirituality can manifest into matter. Capricorn, as a cardinal or initiator sign, turns chaos (the origins of all creation) into structure.
This new perspective of Capricorn changed my reality in ways that are still unfolding. It nudged me to see the strategies I had created to repress what I didn’t like about myself and only share what I wanted to let others see. Capricorn is also about control. Control is essential to creation, the ideal balance of structure and freedom, and control can be suffocating. To others, and ourselves.
ASTROLOGY AS A WAY IN, NOT AROUND
I’m very conscientious about bypassing. It’s really easy to lean into spirituality and the occult as a way to escape what’s hard, to excuse ourselves from inaction, to sprinkle love and light on problems and wait for them to ::poof:: disappear. And, sometimes surrender is what’s being asked of us, “letting go and letting god.” Life is a spectrum, not black and white. Something I’ve leaned from the sign Libra is to stay open to the possibility of both/and.
At this point, I’ve had enough lessons disguised as experiences (another Saturn gift) to know that I am here in this life, in this body, to learn about surrender; to trust in the unknown, to find safety in uncertainty. Capricorn is inclined towards control. When in the shadow it might look like control as power over, but that’s an adaptive strategy. What it often comes down to is safety. Not knowing is not easy for someone who finds safety in control. Surrendering to something unknown is a literal leap of faith. Leaving a job without having another one lined up. Being vulnerable in a new relationship. Trusting that there is something unseen that will in fact catch me, that I can trust it. Faith is an idea, a concept, a felt-sense. It’s not tangible, I can’t see it, yet I’m being asked to lean in.
At a time when things are changing and uncertainty is the flavor of life, this practice of surrender has proved invaluable. From this place of receptivity, I can hear my next right step from within. When this is the place I’m acting from, it’s always aligned with my integrity. Whereas letting go and waiting to see what organically arises can feel bonkers to my impulsive Aries moon and to my action-oriented Capricorn parts, it has served me in connecting deeper with myself and the world around me. I’ve learned that life is a push-pull between faith and right action, between taking a step, and then letting go.
This merely scratches the surface of how my relationship with astrology expands my perspective, a glimpse into how it has been a resource in times that are and will continue to stretch us. In a world steeped in mystery, astrology is one of the places the magick gets in.
xx,
Kerrie
*The planets and their movements reflect not only our human lives, but the collective. For example, Pluto was in the sign of Capricorn when the declaration of independence was signed. Pluto concluded its return to Capricorn as of November 19th, 2024 - astrology would say that America is in the thralls of a plutonian death… as within, so without.
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